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However, whatever is going on, your description does suggest that the term “obsessive” might fit how your husband acts.
There are broadly two forms of obsessive disorders: Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD; a personality style characterized by preoccupation with details and rules, perfectionism that interferes with getting things done, over devotion to work, over-conscientiousness, emotional rigidity or stubbornness, etc.) and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD; a serious anxiety disorder characterized by the presence of either obsessions (intrusive, often unwanted, repetitive thoughts or impulses) or compulsions (repetitive often ritualized actions (physical such as hand washing or door-lock checking, or mental such as counting or praying) that the person feels compelled to perform in order to reduce overwhelming distress.
I hate the Brussels sprouts cut that way.”Literally, I critiqued his Brussels sprout cutting skills when I should have been happy he was just cooking dinner for me. Looking back, I probably would have dumped my snarky ass, too.
Somewhere along the way, I thought I was defined by the way I was being treated, that my happiness was completely controlled by those around me rather than myself. Maybe, we don't know what we have until it's gone — until we can't taste it, touch it or feel it anymore.
Naïvely, I would reply, “I just expect to be treated a certain way.”I cringe just thinking about it.